Ok, so I admit. I have been out of the NASCAR scene for probably 3 months now. Once Jimmie Johnson crapped out....I mean, capped off another title for Chad “I rape the Gray Area of the rule book like I'm Ben Roethlisberger” Knaus and the rest of the Hendrick organization, I decided I would take a little break from the Left Turn Legion that is NASCAR to focus on real life things that are far more important. Like video games. And brazilian fart fetish porn. No, seriously. Google that. Wait....on second thought, don't. However, I haven't totally been out of touch with things, and a few tidbits have somehow filtered through the cheesecloth to my ever-wanting ears. And I would like to take my literary talents to South Beach for you loyal S'n'P readers, and wax poetic about what I deem to be note worthy.
First, I'll get this out of the way right now. How hard up for cash is Joe Nemechek and the Nemco racing team? I actually considered a Freedom of Information Act request on his tax filings to find out. There is a pure and simple reason I ask this question. For that I point you here.
Now, before I go on, I'd like to point out that I am 100% sure that Kevin Freakin' Conway is a fine, upstanding American citizen (unlike that Barrack guy from Kenya....whats his name again?). He surely pays his taxes on time, saves many a kitten from burning trees, and assuredly helps lovely geriatric ladies cross busy streets. He's probably even an Eagle Scout.
But, of all things he is, a race car driver is not one of them. The guy couldn't win a foot race against a one legged man. He couldn't crack the top-5 in a go-kart race if there were only 3 other drivers. If this sport didn't rely so very much on the almighty dollar, there isn't an owner in NASCAR who would give this undeserved Rookie of the Year a spot on their clean-up crew yet alone a full time ride. Two former teams are suing him, and his tag-along sponsor, for petes sake! The only reason he's got a ride with Nemco is because Front Row Joe couldn't get a sponsor for a bowling team, yet alone a NASCAR team. So he had to run with the easy money, by bringing on a driver who had readilly available sponsorship. Since no one in their right mind who had a cent to their name would hire Kevin Freakin' Conway, he was open for Joe. Poor, poor Joe. I see only bad things in the future, in the way of either torn up cars, or Joe getting stiffed by Conways' sponsor, Extenze (hah! Get it? Stiffed by Extenze?). I'm calling it now. This one ends in a courtroom by the first Talladega race of 2011.
Ok. There. Now that I got that out of the way, I can move on to more pressing matters. I'll hopefully never have to revisit this Kevin Freakin' Conway thing ever again.
I'm also starting to see that Brian France is a complete idiot. If this wasn't obvious before, I'd like to just make it obvious now. Let me run down a few things that since this blunderfuck (sorry, I hate to swear but it's needed here) has taken point of the RMS Titanic....er.....NASCAR, the body has gone from one of the rising sports in the world to a slowly and sometimes rapidly sinking ship. This is where Brian could learn from other sports in a good way.
Let me first state here why I truly believe Brian France is the wrong man for this job. Outside of the obvious fact that he isn't his daddy (which is truly a shame, that man was a God amongst mortal men), he has a tendency to react quickly. Some might say “But if you don't react quickly, a problem can grow out of control to a point of ruin!” Yes, this is entirely true, if what you're reacting to is a problem to begin with. But most of what he keeps going after was never a problem to begin with!
What he seems to keep doing is knee jerk reactions, rather than calculated moves. This is causing the product that is NASCAR to be completely dragged behind the bus. The biggest example is the Chase itself. The Chase was conceived, partially, in the back of a dilapidated wagon behind the Shur-Fine as a product of a late night drunken grope fest and a broken prophelactic. That, and the fact that Matt Kenseth won the Cup title on the strength of one win on the season. To me, I don't find fault in that. Matt was a consistent force to be reckoned with that season. Sure, he only had 1 win to show for it, but the Cup isn't for the guy that wins the most races. See Bill Elliott, Rusty Wallace, Darrell Waltrip amongst others, that lost out on Cups despite winning the most races in the season, sometimes far and away over other competitors. The Cup should go to the guy that, over the course of a season, shows that he and his team are at the top of their game, and have the best SEASON. Not the best 10 race stretch. If that was the case, why not give Jeff Gordon another cup or two for winning 4 races in a row back in the mid 90's? Or throw another one Dale Sr's way, since I'm sure at some point he had a 10 race string that he utterly dominated just as well.
Texas Terry won a cup on the strength of a hard faught, top notch season that still only generated 2 wins. Is that now cheapened because we deemed Kenseths 1 win title season a reason to start the Chase? Examples abound.
France seems to think that any time any criticism comes about towards NASCAR, it is time for a change. But what he doesn't seem to understand is that sometimes, markets undergo a self correction. Sure Kenseth won a title with a single win season. However that is just an exception to the rule! 99 times out of a 100, the best guy will still creap to the top of the pile. It's the nature of things that occasionally, one will squeak through that may not be the fastest, may not be the strongest, but he's still going to be there at the end to take the title. That single time out of 100 is not reason to completely wipe the slate clean and start anew with this.....playoff....thing. If Kenseth won a handful of titles in a row, despite only getting a single win each season, then sure. Time for change may be here. But I assure you that would never have happened, and never will now. Reaction for the sake of reaction is causing havoc.
One thing that has always stuck in my craw about France is his usual rhetoric about wanting to be more “like the stick 'n ball sports”. I just have one thing to say to that. Brian.....do you even know what you're watching when you attend a race? Do you see drivers out there swinging bats or sticks? Do you see them throwing a ball or slapping a puck? Is there a hoop or a goal or a net somewhere out on the track that I don't see? No. You know why? Because this is Auto Racing. NASCAR is not played with a stick. It is not played with a ball. You know what it's played with? 43 men (and/or women) putting their lives on the line in 800hp cages of death with wheels, driving hundreds of miles for the chance at glory and a trophy. Where in that description do you see “stick and ball”? Stop trying to be like sports you are not, and go back to being the sport you were.
Greatness is still attainable, Mr. France. At this point, though, it's turning into a canker sore. Just like that canker sore, the more you play with it with your tongue, the worse it is going to get. If you just leave it alone, it will heal itself over time. This is what NASCAR can do. Leave it alone, and let it be, and it has a chance at becoming what it was in the 90s. Keep toying with it, and you're going to be left with 20-something tracks empty, and ratings lower than Keenan & Kel reruns on Tuesday nights.
Or better yet, just go away.
(apologies for no pictures or graphics, Blogspot is playing games with my browser and wont let me add them without crashing! I'll be better next time.)
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