September 26, 2010 News and Notes

So obviously posting once a week was a challenge neither Greg nor I thought would be, well, a challenge. But here we are, live and learn. So let me quickly bang (haha) something out for y’all to enjoy.

Kudos to Kevin Harvick for standing up to the dumb words of Denny Hamlin. Outside of some digs about Dale Earnhardt, I don’t think he could have done more to draw the ire of Richard Childress Racing. If they’re fighting to be in the Chase, why would they knowingly cheat? I’m going to go with RCR on this one, even though their appeal will probably fail. I don’t think they’d cheat, but I also don’t like Denny Hamlin.

In between watching the Bills vs Patriots I was able to watch parts of today’s race. What I saw was confusing and repetitive. AJ Allmendinger leading for over 100 was the confusing, and repetitive was Jimmie Johnson getting a win/turning into high gear for yet another championship. Can’t wait to call him the five time champ, that won’t be annoying at all.

Glad ESPN narrowed it down to only paying attention to 12 drivers during Cup coverage. I’m sure no one else on the track matters except for the Chase drivers. And commercial with 15 to go? Really? Jack hole move ESPN. Last coverage blast, interviewing Danica Patrick after she finished only 98 or so laps down? Again, really? I did like her responses, which were honest and better than I thought they’d be. You barely found time for the fifth place driver in Reed Sorenson, but of course had 10 minutes blocked off for her. Like Brett Favre, the media is making me hate another athlete. Well, no, Favre is just a massive tool, nevermind.

Speaking of annoying, I am very curious about the new Burger King breakfast, but those commercials, almost turning me away. I would gladly buy whatever garbage you are serving if you just stop with the weird looking people sort of not really signing about Burger King. Outside of when Crisco sponsored Jimmy Spencer, has there ever been such a perfect marriage of driver and sponsor like Tony Stewart and Burger King. When I used to (for like a month) race online I once did the Tony Stewart pregame. That being wolfing down a Whopper, fries, and drink during practice. I did not win, I do believe someone crashed into me, because it’s never my fault, right Greg?

With online racing, my career was brief and annoying because I wasn’t that good, but I wouldn’t throw in the towel like my team was run by Phil Parsons. I ran until the end hoping I’d get better because I just invested so much time I’m not going to just quit and move on. I still don’t understand the mental side to starting and parking. As a driver I can see how it keeps your name out there, but you go two laps and you’re done. Unless everyone is on the Kevin Conway, which means hitting on daughters/wives/mothers of other drivers, not worth it. Financially doing it in Cup makes sense, not so much Nationwide.

Reviewing old Nationwide races, there have been starters and parkers forever, so in theory we shouldn’t be too much in arms about it. Also from reviewing the old races, they did enough races away from Cup that alone discouraged the Cup drivers from racing all season. Sure one or two might dabble, but you also have to notice that few Cup teams had Nationwide teams in the 80s and 90s. Thus they relied on their own full time drivers to race, and maybe a few teams would have a Cup driver every now and then. Which I enjoyed seeing the Nationwide (well at the time Busch) versions of cars like Michael Waltrip’s #30 Pennzoil Pontiac, Bill Elliott’s #11 Budweiser Ford, Dale Earnhardt’s #3 GM Goodwrench Chevrolet, Ernie Irvan’s #4 Kodak Film Chevrolet, and so on.

Congrats to Austin Dillon for proving once again, talent skips a generation. Just look at Mike Dillon’s stats, terrible.

Well that’s all I can think of right now, so I’ll turn my efforts to badgering Greg to post something this week until he does or snaps and punches me at work. Wish me luck!

We're back!!!

I know what you’re all saying, “what the heck have you guys been doing for the last three weeks!?” Inexcusable, I know that. We should be putting out at least something once a week, unwritten rule. I could sit here and blame Greg or Sam Adam’s Octoberfest or Greg, but that’s just childish finger pointing. Because we all know it is Greg’s fault. Without further ado, let’s hit the ground running:

I’ve gotten to watch a few of the last IRL races on VS and I have to say I’m impressed. They went out of their way to get announcers/pit reports that used to work IndyCar coverage in the past, and one former NASCAR announcer. That is fantastic, it was like I was watching 1995 ESPN coverage of it, minus Paul Page. They had Bob Jenkins (which is a travesty that he’s calling IndyCar and not ESPN, no offense Marty Reid, but you are not Bob Jenkins), Jon Beekhuis (humorous name, great commentary guy), and Robbie Buhl (another example of terrible athletic/participant good announcer) in the booth. The on pit road Jack Arute (the Dr. Jerry Punch of IndyCar, I docket him points for being too excited during Indy 500 qualifying, but am over it), Lindy Thackston and Robbie Floyd (both knew their stuff, I just got nothing good to input about them) in the pits. This is what you do, you get established people and maybe work in a new guy every now and then. You don’t just go out and get a couple of former drivers, former owners, current owner, and Jim Bob off the street (also known as Phil Parsons) to drag you through a race. It’s not terrible, but I’m also spacing out most of the time about what their saying.

Instead of putting all the marketing and hope in Danica Patrick, we should be backing drivers who, I don’t know, deserve to be there instead. One such driver is Chrissy Wallace, daughter of Mike Wallace. You have the name recognition, she is good looking, and has show promises of potential, yet she has no starts in all three series this year (not saying Cup, but Truck atleast! Come on!). Just annoying that she can’t get a ride, but let’s stop the presses and get someone who is more famous for suggestive commercials that racing. But this happens everywhere, drivers who have family connections with companies and grizzled veterans somehow get the rides but up and coming drivers like Bryan Clauson, Billy Wease, and Burney Lamar (to name a few) come and gone to never be heard from again.

Warning, only time I’ll every say something good about Kyle Busch. I was impressed with his triple win feat at Bristol. I give him a lot of credit to run that much in one weekend. Now I’m going to take a shower, I feel dirty.

Atlanta provided a really good race, with hard racing almost throughout. Then it is built for those multiple lanes to be used that turns up the excitement, the only problem was the fact that race lasted for FOUR hours. That was terrible, just, too freakin’ long. I don’t blame people for going, I’m going to have to revert to Bill Simmons take on the length of things on this one. “I'm the same guy who once created the 150-Minute Rule for all movies, sporting events, concerts, even sex -- if you edge past 150 minutes for anything, you better have a really good reason (July 29, 2010 column).” I’ll bump it to 3 hours for a race, but four is just plain silly. People always ask me how I can watch NASCAR. Well I watch it, sort of, because I’ll be working on other things such as checking stocks of local interest (porn), or maybe I’m cooking something (porn), or even cleaning my room (of porn). If I was to sit and watch the race, I’d be hard press to not wonder away to another channel, we’re a country with a declining attention span. Heck, if I didn’t say “porn” over and over, you’d probably have already moved on to another website.

Just saying it, I hate the Chase. I hate what it is, I hate what it represents, I hate that it exists, I hate that everyone talks about it, and I hate that I am talking about it right now. It’s just plain stupid, and if they go to an elimination style Chase I’d be hard press to keep being a fan. I think I’ve covered it before, but this is auto racing, it’s not a stick and ball sport.

Thankfully Kevin Conway was picked up by Robby Gordon Motorsports to continue his quest to be Rookie of the Year. It was scary to think a driver who is terrible but has some in with a sponsor would not be able to crash out the year on route to a Rookie of the Year title he wins simply because he’s the only one competing for it. Instead of dwelling on that small fact, I like to live in a dream world. My roommate Jeff helped paint this picture, that after Conway parks for the race he spends the rest of the time hitting on wives/daughters of other drivers. Maybe throwing out there that his sponsor is Extenze and they should “do the math, baby.”

This just in, Dale Earnhardt, he’s still dead. Won’t be coming back, so stop saying Kyle Busch is the next Dale Earnhardt or even (more insulting) Brad Keselowski is the second coming. Just because a driver is an idiot and wrecks people, doesn’t mean he’s Dale Earnhardt. When playing NASCAR 09, if I wreck someone, I don’t go around going “I’m Dale Earnhardt! Woo!” then catch my breath because I’m fat. No, that doesn’t happen (especially the fat part, I’m totally in shape and awesome, anyways I digress). Busch has a similar drive to win at all costs, but without the charisma Earnhardt had. Keselowski hasn’t done anything but almost get killed by Carl Edwards, so how does he even come into the debate. From now on I’m going to proclaim, and proclaim loudly that Dale Eanrhardt, Jr. is the next Dale Earnhardt. Because literally that is correct, on the track someone kicked that apple far from the tree. Ed Hinton makes some good points in his article, but I’m still not sold.

The Chase and Kevin Conway, two things that drive me to drink. A few others, the Jonas Brothers, work, Jersey Shore, my golf game, bills, work, New York Rangers roster moves, women, and work.

I’m sure there was more I wanted to touch on, but since I didn’t write it down, oh well. Greg and I have a good combo article coming out hopefully sooner than later, so keep checking back in. Thanks for stopping by and stay classy.