Now for a little bit of reasoning and criteria. I chose 1982 and forward, because basically, I was born in 1982 and I have little true knowledge of NASCAR prior to that point. There is no real point to me spouting wisdom about something to which I have little knowledge of. That would just make me a Fox News reporter, and that would be wrong. As well, its just plain easier to just focus on 28 years than it is the entire history of Sprint Cup racing. Who isn’t for easy??? We built this city on easy! And Rock ‘n Roll, but that’s neither here nor there. The actual method I used to select my “Worst Rookie Classes” was pretty basic and simple. In other words, it was completely subjective. I used some statistical analysis (with data strewn from Racing-Reference.info), along with some historical perspective to select whom I feel is the worst class since the Breakfast Club and Carrie. I mean, really, how bad could Kevin Freakin’ Conway and the class of 2010 be when compared to Greg Sacks and Phil Parsons?
With all that said, let’s get on with the dog and pony show!
Year: 1984
Top Driver from this class: Rusty Wallace (pictured)
Why did it suck? Well let’s see. Maybe because the second place finisher in the standings for the Rook’s was the wonderboy, Greg Sacks. He of 14 DNF’s in 29 starts, and an average finish so far below the Mason-Dixon Line, it had its very own tobacco plantation. Finishing right behind Sacks was Start ‘n’ Parks favorite current NASCAR team owner, Phil Parsons,
who somehow wrangled 3 top 10s on the year despite not once finishing on the lead lap. Worse, still? Clark Dwyer. While not having the last name of Griswold, one would believe that Clark drove a wood paneled station wagon in most races, as poor as he ran. I can promise you that unless you are a NASCAR historian, or follow the sport as if it is a form of religion, you have no idea who Clark Dwyer is (he DID lead 1 lap though). That alone should tell you how bad this class was. Sure, Rusty came out of the class and turned into one of the greatest drivers of the Modern Era, even grabbing a Cup title. He even ran respectably in his rookie year. But that doesn’t take away from the sheer amount of suck eminating from the remaining members of the Class of 1984. Megan Foxs’ acting in “Jonah Hex” wasn’t this bad.Year: 1988
Top Driver from his class: Ernie Irvan (pictured)
Why did it suck? I almost just wanted to name the winner of the Rookie of the Year for 1988, and say “That’s why.” Then walk slowly away as some calm, disenchanting music played behind me. But even though the top driver to come out of this class is Ernie Irvan, he didn’
t win the award (and by all statistical accounts, didn’t deserve to anyway). The winner in 1988 was Ken Bouchard. No not that Bouchard. The other one. After 1988, he ran only 8 more races in his Cup career, which means his rookie season amounts to nothing more than a dine and dash at Dennys. At least Irvan stuck around to pay the check, collecting 15 wins over the next 12 seasons. However judging by his rookie campaign, it’s a miracle he did, as he never finished on the lead lap and parked it 7 times in 25 starts. What’s the kicker for this season? Brad Noffsinger. He of only 17 races in 1988 for Curb Racing. Of 17 starts, 7 were DNF’s. He averaged a start position of 35th. His finishing average was about the age the Olson Twins will probably OD on some sort of designer drug (25). He never raced in Sprint Cup again which came as a shock to no one. So, to summarize, this class stunk.Year: 1989
Top Driver from his class: Dick Trickle (*giggle* pictured)
Why did it suck? First of all, the winner of the Rookie of the Year was born in the Jurrasic period, that should be reason enough. Just when you think that a rookie class headed by a guy named Dick Trickle couldn’t possibly stink worse than John Candy after a night at the buffet, bam! We hit you with some knowledge. The rookie class included Hut Stricklin, who had a minimal 6 did-not-finishes, by rookie standards, out of his 27 starts, but ranked last in the class with a starting spot of 28th on the grid. You don’t run well when yo
u start three quarters deep in the field every race. Running just behind them, was Larry Pearson. He obviously didn’t receive the talent gene in the Pearson pool. Even worse for Larry, he was the only one of the class to not improve on his starting position on average, starting 21st every race, just to end up one back in 22nd. In his defense, those 11 times he did not finish in 29 starts really does hold back that average. Should I mention Jimmy Spencer, Mr. Excitement? Meh. He didn’t amount to much, wrecking out in 9 of his 17 starts. I won’t even venture further into that monstrosity. Probably ate too much of his sponsor (Crisco). Rarely did anyone in this class even sniff the lead lap, with the exception of Dick Trickle and his 7 lead lap finishes. Yes, I do plan on saying his full name, Dick Trickle, every chance I can get. Dick Trickle. No wonder ESPN always spotlighted him, his name, Dick Trickle, is just darn funny!Year: 2008
Top driver from his class: Regan Smith (really? ...pictured. begrudgingly.)
Why did it suck? This class is still very young, in the sense that in NASCAR Sprint Cup now a days, its very hard to just jump in a ride and go fast. But now that we are 2 years removed, I think it is now pretty safe to start making points based on their performance. And lets just say, that performance left a lot to be desired. Regan Smith brought home the title of Rookie of the Year, despite not garnering 1 single solitary top 10, and even missing a couple races. Sam Hornish Jrs’ experiment coming from the likes of open wheel racing for Pensk
e was a total disaster, as he missed 2 races, and tore up more cars than he brought home clean. Don’t even get me started on how many provisionals he had to use just to make the field every week. Patrick Carpentier may have been awful, but at least he got a pole at Loudon. When you’re done reading this, please tell me how THAT happened. Anyway, besides those three wonderkinds, we had Michael McDowell, who is more famous for his spectacular flip at Texas during qualifying than anything he ever did on Sundays. So basically, this class looking back, really has nothing going for it. The top driver now races for a team that is one small step away from being a start ‘n’ park (Regan Smith). Another is barely hanging on despite some strong runs in the last year (Hornish). Two others barely get a breath of gas fumes yet alone a decent ride to run in any of NASCARs top series (Carpentier and McDowell). This rookie bunch just goes to show you…….actually, I have no idea what it shows you. How many ways can you describe “bad” without repeating yourself?Year: 2010
Top driver from this class: Kevin Freakin’ Conway
Why does it suck? Where do I start….First things first, lets’ get this fact out of the way. Kevin Freakin’ Conway does not deserve to be in a NASCAR Sprint Cup race car. In any way. The prevailing commonallity in a lot of the guys that we have mentioned in previous seasons is that they were selected by their owners because in some way, shape or form, they showed some exceptional talent in another series or lower divison. What has Kevin Freakin’ Conway done to deserve a top series ride? Oh yea….he brought along Extenze sponsorship. Great. Not only does he suck, he promotes a drug that makes me get a humongo hoo-hoo dilly on a weekly basis. He really is worthless, and looking at his statistics, it just affirms the fact that this guy needs to go. His average start is 40th, keeping in mind that only 43 cars start any given race. His average finish is 32nd. Mike could get 32nd in his stock 2009 Malibu. Heck, I could probably pull that off
in my Aveo. I just want to sit here and spout off for the next 8 paragraphs just how much Kevin Freakin’ Conway is a gigantic waste of NASCAR space. Can anyone give me one good reason why Conway has a ride, yet other drivers who are far better at being mediocre toil around in the Nationwide series? No one can tell me Steve Wallace wouldn’t be able to get a top 25 average finish in a car, if Conway can’t even crack the top 30. This guy is the biggest joke since Carrot Tops “career”. The only thing he’s succeeded at is making me laugh at him every week. If he races outside of 2010 in any of the top three series, I will be utterly shocked. He alone makes mentioning the remaining rookies not even worth the effort. They could all be Dale Earnhardt reincarnates, but the amount of sucktitude he has kills any decency the others may have brought to the table. Oh wait he carries full sponsorship into 2011? Looks’ like we’re stuck with him. *sigh*So looking back at all those numbers and all that information, it really does become clear that Kevin Freakin’ Conway and the rookie class of 2010 really is the worst in the last 28 years. The sport in its current form needs high talent, high marketability rookies to tout going into the next decade. Aging superstars like Jeff Gordon, Jeff Burton, Mark Martin (he was born around the time of Dick Trickle), and yes even Jimmie Johnson, they won’t be around forever. NASCAR needs new blood, and this years rookies just will not cut it. Brent Sherman need not apply. Joey Logano is a step in the right direction, but he’s just one fish in a big pond. We need another early 90s blitz, with Burton, Gordon, Bobby Labonte, and later in the decade the emergence of Kurt Busch and Dale Jr, along with Kenseth. Where will next years rookie class rate? Along side the guys just mentioned, or are we looking at 1984 all over again? NASCAR has no where to go but up, but Kevin Freakin’ Conway is not going to help.
Oh yea, I forgot. Dick Trickle.
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